Understanding Eye Contact in Neurodiverse Children
Eye contact is one of the most common concerns raised by parents of neurodiverse children. It is particularly significant in the context of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and is considered a complex developmental milestone. Typically, infants begin to develop eye contact around 2 to 3 months of age, with more adequate development occurring between 3 to 6 months. This developmental marker indicates proper central nervous system organization and continues to play an essential role throughout life.
However, true, functional, and meaningful eye contact is only possible when the brain and nervous system are well-regulated. Simply instructing a child to make eye contact repeatedly is often ineffective and counterproductive. When a parent, teacher, or caregiver insists on eye contact by saying phrases like “Look at me,” the child may comply out of fear or a desire to follow instructions. Unfortunately, this type of interaction often lacks meaning or purpose and may serve only to make the adult feel in control.
Sensory Processing & Eye Contact
Children who experience sensory processing challenges are more likely to struggle with maintaining eye contact. Below are key reasons why this may happen:
- When a child is required to look at someone, they may become overwhelmed by the visual information and struggle to determine what is relevant.
- The child may be preoccupied with processing other sensory inputs, such as sounds or spoken words, making it difficult to focus on visual cues.
- For some children, eye contact may be uncomfortable or even intolerable due to an underlying sensory defensiveness. When the environment is already overwhelming, making eye contact can add unnecessary discomfort.
Suggestions for Parents and Caregivers
• Let Eye Contact Happen Naturally: Encourage eye contact without forcing it. Creating a calm and engaging environment will help promote natural interactions.
• Avoid Forcing or Requesting Eye Contact: Refrain from frequently prompting the child with phrases like “look at me.” This often results in compliance rather than meaningful engagement.
• Recognize Sensory Signals: Understand that a lack of eye contact may indicate that the child’s nervous system is dysregulated or in a state of sensory overload.
• Acknowledge Visual Processing Challenges: Keep in mind that visual input may be too challenging or distracting for some children when they are trying to learn or engage within their environment.
• Listening Without Looking: Remember that when a child is not looking at you, it does not necessarily mean they are not listening. In fact, some children may listen more effectively when they are not visually focused.